GTA4 has Controversies!!!

Everybody knows that the extremely popular GTA series is a spin off of the equally popular Grand Theft Auto games that originated on personal computers several years ago. Between the GTA titles and its self-titled music game, Rock Star has been making an awful lot of money these past couple of years.

Now, GTA4 (or GTAIV as it’s known in Italy) is thieving people’s money as crowds of people flock to their local video game story to purchase it. As these purchases are mostly voluntary exchanges of currency for the product, it’s technically not thieving. Still, that was a very clever way to explain that the game is selling well if you don’t stop to think about it.

The Video Game Fink is a lot of things, but a player of GTAs is not one of them. I have a natural aversion to playing any game with an overly complimentary adjective in the title, and knowing the the GTA games are derived from a series that considers itself “grand” was simply too close for comfort. This same aversion allows me to enjoy Mario Kart Wii, but I may never learn why people seem to enjoy the plumber’s “super” adventure through the galaxy.

Despite this quirk of mine, I convinced myself that “GTA4” is far enough removed from “Grand” Theft Auto to give it a shot, if only for the sake of you, my readers. I had heard a lot of news reports about how these GTA games allowed the player to enjoy sexual relations with a prostitute (or “hooker” for you Floridians) and then murder her to reclaim the virtual money you paid for her services. Smart business, perhaps, but horrifying and immoral.

Imagine my surprise when I discovered that prostitutes were not the only people that you can murder in that game! Indeed, I had to take the life of quite a few non-prostitutes before I was even allowed to try my hand at prostitute-killing (or “hookercide” for you Montanans).

If you enjoy murder, then GTA4 should be right up your darkened alley. Personally, I don’t see what all the fuss is about. There are several games that allow you to kill people; why must this be the game that the media jumps on? Probably because its predecessors were such braggarts. Besides, the game is rated M for “Must be a Grownup to Play,” so any arguments about the corruption of youth is moot.

And with that, I must now return an e-mail to a Namco PR representative. They still are not accepting my explanation as to why I’ve not yet reviewed that copy of “Beautiful” Katamari that they sent me.

Rock Rock the House

Music game lovers rejoice!

Last night, Konami held its annual Gamers’ Day in San Francisco, the city that never sleeps. Little did the company know, but they had invited the VG Fink into their show. Only I can provide the true story of what went on in the sweltering oven that was the small club that the event was held in.

I would have loved to have talked about this last night, but Konami made everyone sign an NDA before entering the show. If you’re not familiar with this “in the business” term, NDA stands for “No, Don’t Alaborate (to your readers).” It basically means that we can’t talk about what we saw until Konami tells us that we can. Otherwise, Video Kojima gets very sad.

The big announcement at the show is that Konami is creating a new music game called Rock Rock Revolution, a spin-off of its popular Dance Revolution series. This new game plays almost exactly like the popular music game, Rock Star, which is, of course, created by the Rock Star, the same people who gave us the Grand Theft Auto and GTA games. The big difference between RRR and Rock Star is that there are two more drums in RRR than in Rock Star. So if you really like drumming in Rock Star, then you’ll like this game two better. You also can’t sing in Rock Rock Revolution, but who ever does that? You look so silly doing it! What if your neighbors saw you? Could you live with that? And put on some clothes when you play these game. Have some dignity, man.

Here’s a screen shot of Rock Rock Revolution. Apparently you can play as some sort of drumming cowboy.

Boom Blocks is for Squares

Since I just started my blog, I figure that I might as well post my first review. Now, I’m not going to waste your time with long review rants like you see on sites like IGN. I don’t have any ads to sell, so I don’t care about getting page views. You’re getting my opinion fast and hard, just the way your mom likes it.

Actually, no. Your mom’s probably pretty nice. I’ve never actually met the woman, and that was uncalled for.

As you may remember, Electronic Arts turned into EA many years ago when the company’s founder, Trip Hawkins, decided to create the 3DO and make everything have short names made up of numbers and letters. Ever since then, EA has been know for making sports games like John Madden Football and Quidditch World Cup. For EA’s first non-sports game, the company has decided to create a puzzle game called Boom Blocks.

In a move that is destined to bring Silicon Valley and Holleywood even closer together, Boom Blocks was programmed by the famous director, Stephen Spielburg, who you will remember as the director of the second segment of Twilight Zone: The Movie and the man who played the director in Austin Powers in Goldmember. After being out of the programming game for so long, it’s nice to see Stephen back doing what he does best. You may remember that he also infamously programmed the notoriously bad E.T. game for the Atari 2,600. That was the first video game to be based on a movie, and it was so bad that Atari went out of business.

Despite that early failure, Stephen must have been taking programming lessons because Boom Blocks is fantastic. It’s been getting a lot of praise from the media, and it’s easy to see why. When you control the game with the Wiimote, it feels just like you’re playing Jenga. Only without the threat of splinters or fire and with costing $50 instead of $13.

This game has been getting a lot of perfect reviews like 10s and A+s, but no game is perfect. Despite those obvious oversights, Boom Blocks is still a great game. It also has penguins in it.